Fresh Prince of Bolverhamton

This poem is based on actual events........

Sing it in the Fresh prince of Bel-Air Tune

Now this is a story about Manjeet,
Who lived on New York's 42nd Street.

A hard-core desi with a desi desire,
His kacha was always in a raging fire

To control his heat he looked for a Kaur
and started by knocking on his neighbour's door.

His neighbour was of Jamaican descent,
Four feet tall with a Brooklyn accent.

Her name was Tyson.
She looked like a Bison,
But that didn't matter.
Coz our yaarr was fatter!

Jeeta was desperate, he had little choice.
So he started his chat-up in a deep hefty voice;
"Meri Jindagy, Meri Pyari,
Meri Heer, Meri Kali!"

She listened to his lines then gave him the crux;
"I'll go out with you if you give me ten bucks!"

He put on his Brylcream and they started to date.
Jeeta was in love; "Oh, thank-joo fate!"

But Aunty Bachni was on the prowl,
She'd smelt the perfume, it was foul!

Her senses were tingling, something was up.
So she checked out our bro, she wanted the gup!

She found him quickly in his Pug laal,
Then gave a shriek; "OH KALI DE NAAL!"

"Nee mare marrghay!"

Aunty Bachno raises the alarm;
"Jeeta"s down town with a Kali on his arm!"

"There's only one way to stop his blunder,
I'll call his mother in district Jalandhar!"

When mummy heard the news she threw a frenzy!
"Mare audhay tukaray karkay rakh dhongy!"

She picked up her shawl and headed for Amerika,
To eliminate the girlfriend and bring back Jeeta!

As soon as she landed she grabbed his ear,
"Stick to Punjabis!, Mare tenoo kinee wari kayha!?"

Kala Kaloota Sara Tabar Loota!

Why didn't you come to me?
I know many Punjabis!

"OK mummy ji, just find me a voti
Who'll make me saag and mukhi dee roti!"

"My karli friend was a bad move,
She doesn't even like the Bhangra groove!"

"Serves you right! I've told you many times,
Marry a Punjabi, one of your own kind!"

"I'll find you a kuree in England my son,
I hear there are plenty in Bolverhampton!"
"Mum, get the jelebis and lead the way!
Punjabi girls here I come, Ballay oh Ballay!"