Jokes and funny pics

Don't take these seriously, there just jokes!! SARDAR JOKES Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?" "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" "Oh! How nice it would be ," said Banta with joy, "I have been illiterate for so long." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two sardarjis walked toward each other on a country road. One carried a burlap bag over his shoulder. "Hey Bhai," first sardarji drawled, "what's in the bag?" "Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how many, can I have one?" "You can have both of them." The sardarji replied "OK, Five." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The doctor told the sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, the sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem."What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms away from my home now." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, "Singh Saab, aap ka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?" ....comes the reply, "Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli bar ek sardar "brain" tumour se mara hai!!!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 Sardarji's got fed up with the Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They take 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. One asks the other "What happens if the bombs blast off now" The other says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai". Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai, kahin bhook se na marjaun" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Banta singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how he did his exam. For that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK!!!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Banta was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. " They should not put up such misleading notices", said Banta. "It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin' ". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. He lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket. "What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?" asked his neighbour "That's a good match. I'll use it again." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing. The bystander explains that a Marathon race is going on Sardar : What do they get from that? Bystander : The winner will get a prize Sardar : Then why are the others running?! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One foggy evening two Sardarjis went out walking. One of the Sardarji was holding a flashlight, and suddenly he said to his friend: "Why don`t you just climb up this light-beam when I am holding the flashlight upwards like this?" His friend looked at him and answered, "No, I can`t do that because if I did, you would just turn off the light, and I would fall down." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and again barefeet!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?" "Sure." "Give me a Green one, please." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sardarji "Excuse me sir, what time is it?" Man "It's 315." Sardarji (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two sardarjis are trying to measure a telephone pole. They keep trying to climb it and keep sliding down. Along comes this really big, muscle bound man and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?" The two say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole." The man wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground, says "40 feet" and walks away. The first sardar says to the other, "What a stupid idiot - we wanted the height, not the width." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Banta was standing at the station with Santa and son Preetu. Preetu wanted to check his weight and he took a coin from his father and stood on the machine. Unfortunately, he could not reach the slot meant for inserting the coin. Then Banta had a brilliant idea. He lifted Preetu and helped him insert the coin. All the three were wondering what made the Preetu weightless even on EARTH!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Singh and Banta singh are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Banta singh noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her. Bartender said "Hey don't worry about her, She is lesbian! ". Banta singh "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them" and he stylishly holding his whiskey in his left hand walked to her table. Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said "Where exactly in Lesbia, you from?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One sardarji was appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, but unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's go in' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?" Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Muslim and a Sikh were once traveling together in a train. Both being from Punjab, spoke the same language and had a great time talking to each other and generally whiling away time. Came lunchtime and the Muslim took out his lunch and started eating without offering it to the Sikh. The Sikh was rather insulted at this impolite behavior. "What city are you from?" he asked the Muslim. "Lahore," replied the Muslim. At that, the Sikh started cursing the people of Lahore, mentioning, among other things what impolite &*@##!%%'s they all were. Being guilty, the Muslim swallowed all this in silence. A few minutes later, the Sikh was hungry and he took out his lunch and started eating without offering it to the Muslim. The Muslim saw this as an opportunity for revenge. "And what city might you be from?" he asked the Sikh. The Sikh replied, "I'm from Mecca. Start cursing!" SINGH JOKES One day, Mr Singh gets a new born child. So he starts filling the birth certificate. At the same time, a couple who are touring India, met him and congratulated him on getting a son. Mr Singh is very happy. The next day, the couple go to Delhi. There they find the very same Singh writing the very same form. The puzzled couple approached Mr Singh and asked him " Mr Singh, yesterday, we saw you at Mumbai filling the same certificate, but today you are here?" Mr Singh replies "I came here because on the certificate it said: " WRITE IN CAPITAL." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Singhs got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They take 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. One asks the other "What happens if the bombs blast off now" The other says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mr Singh was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.Then he came to the column "SALARY EXPECTED". He was not sure what to write there. After much thought he wrote : Yes. SANTA AND BANTA! Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta Singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta Singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta Singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it in to his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta Singh was visiting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all". He unfolded the note and read aloud: "Phaan-Chodh, you're standing on my oxygen tube!" BLONDE JOKES Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day? A: Put her in a round room and tell her sit in the corner. Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run, she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back. Q: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid? A: She wanted to go on a round trip. Q: How do you grow dope? A: Plant a blonde. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proof Reader. Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? A: She was trying to see what she looked when she was asleep. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer? A: There is white-out on the screen. Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their face? A: From eating with a fork. Q: Why do blondes write TGIF on all of their shoes? A: Toes go in first. Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair? A: Last year's hide and seek winner. Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? A: Pregnant. Q: Why did the blonde open the window? A: To see what was going on outside. Q: What do you call a pimple on a blonde's butt? A: A brain tumor. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? A: Because on the box it said FROM 2-4 YEARS. Q: What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagon? A: Far-from-thinkin'. Q: What did the blonde say when she saw a box of Cheerios? A: "Oh, look. Donut seeds!" Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: It got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs, and was still trapped. Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? A: Data transfer. Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that froze to death in their car at the drive-in? A: They went to see "Closed for Winter". Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone. Q: What is brown, red, black, and blue? A: A brunette that told one too many blonde jokes.
Here they are!! The singhson family!! I Know I shouldn't be cussing Indians....and I shouldn't be Dissing The Simpson's either coz their both cool, Really!!!!!
Desi style james bond Da names Singh, James Bond Singh
	Bad Boys Kharab Munde With Soni Kudi
Granny!! Probaly a fan of hip-hop rapper Eminem!!
	return of the GUTI MAN!!!
2Pac Singh Some people say he has retired, some people say he has changed his identidy, some poeple say he is dead, i say he has converted to sikhism!! 2pac Singh says " changes-thas jus the way it is..." INNIT!!!
	Typicals Thats the way ah-ha-ah-ha, i like it ah-ha-ah-ha! Thats the way ah-ha-ah-ha, i like it ah-ha-ah-ha! Balle balle cok there phata!!
The kaurs (Cores) Looks like the Irish group have converted
	Only valid from march 3rd 2001
The desi football combination Ever wondered why there is n't a singh footballer? Heres your answer!
	Image title would go here. These are a few of my favorite photographs from my different travels. Feel free to browse them as you like. If you want one click your right mouse button and choose "Save As" from the menu.
Image title would go here. These are a few of my favorite photographs from my different travels. Feel free to browse them as you like. If you want one click your right mouse button and choose "Save As" from the menu.
	Image title would go here. These are a few of my favorite photographs from my different travels. Feel free to browse them as you like. If you want one click your right mouse button and choose "Save As" from the menu.
Image title would go here. These are a few of my favorite photographs from my different travels. Feel free to browse them as you like. If you want one click your right mouse button and choose "Save As" from the menu.